Curating My World

Today was the first day in weeks that I was able (whether mentally or physically) to sit down and dedicate hours to working on my website. I am, by no means, a professional—as some professionals would attest to—but it’s super fun for me.

Up until a few weeks ago I was managing a local sobriety club. An endeavor I started out of my desire to help others. I figured I’d give it a shot and see what kind of positive and progressive changes I could make. I can say with confidence that I did well.

Until I couldn’t do anymore.

The job is a tough one for many reasons. It definitely takes a certain type of person that I discovered I am not. I don’t have healthy enough boundaries/I can’t NOT empathize very well and what happened as a result was some serious burnout. I realized this when my normally cheery and fun demeanor started becoming curmudgeonly.

I didn’t wanna be that crusty manager giving people the stink eye should they approach the office in a beseeching manner.

Something had to change.

After much consulting with friends and family, I made the decision to give it up. It wasn’t for me. What a blow to the ego, but I got about 97% over it (as of this blog, I’m still working on getting over that last 3%).

I live my life by the tenet of this: there is no “can’t”. The question to ask is “how”.

I am constantly reminding myself that I can/could manage the club, but it would come at a cost that is much too steep for me to pay. And so I’m here, plunking away on my laptop investing all the time and energy I was putting into the club into myself for a change.

And damn, it feels good!

It’s a little bit at a time, but I’m seeing progress. Not only in the admin side of things, but in the storytelling itself. Every time I sit down and work on Dance of the Gods, I get better and better.

This is what all those writers/authors are talking about when they say to sit down and write every day. Even if it’s just a little bit.

I’m finally doing the thing as prescribed by many…